conundrum...

I'm sitting here trying to study but instead wondering why I'm studying anatomy and sciences when there was never any desire in my life to go into this field.

A lifetime of pursuing art seems to be going down the drain.
sinking slowly
this Good Friday night.

Am I being selfish by wanting to quit? By wanting to pursue my first love in creating, sharing, inspiring?

Or should I finish this program leading to a very stable yet creatively uninspring career of being a speech pathologist.

Am I not seeing the bigger picture clear enough?
Is it my attitude?

Is it the fact that I'm a generation X kid who needs to pursue my passions instead of following in my hard working parent's footsteps and placing passions aside to support family?

I feel barely any motivation to study.
Is it hobby versus career?

If I choose to pursue my passion, will the response be welcoming?

Why haven't the doors been open where I wanted them to be? Or did I just not try hard enough?

This is not what I wanted or planned. But could it be what I just have to suck up and do?

I danno either.

btw, hello again blog...