Bloom Meets Girl

in Davis.

Since moving to Davis, I've been an emotional pendulum swinging back and forth from one end of marital bliss to the other end of feeling lonely and empty in this new town without my friends and family.  Needless to say..I'm seeking some balance.  Which concludes to the necessary shout out to my husband, Amos, for dealing with my mess of a heart.

One thing I am extremely thankful for is for the opportunities that have risen for me to invest in creative ventures including opening shop at the monthly flea market and creating prints to support a friend's upcoming 6 month mission trip to Cambodia.  I'm not sure if I stayed in SoCal, that I would have had the same types of opportunities but one thing is for sure--the support of the community here has been amazing.  The people who are a part of our ministry at Davis Korean Church, especially the college ministry(Mustard Seed Ministry) are always so encouraging and supportive as they come out with bright smiles to the flea market and buy prints with bouquets despite their student loans.

In addition to that, there are many talented photographers here who take photos for me!
My first flea market in March was photographed by Bob and Eric who graciously took time out of their busy schedule and provided me with beautiful photos to keep in my portfolio.
I'm excited to share them with you today!

Thanks Eric! :

and thanks Bob! :

I'm a lucky gal.

my fickle heart would be no waste.

I started this blog in November of 2008 with the idea that the blog title "if i ruled the world..." would be the consistent first half of the subject for all my blog posts.

Within the 6 years(what?) of this blog's existence, I abandoned it, returned rarely to air out a few vents, and started a sister-blog(literally).  I have also come into reality with a profound thought:

I do not rule the world.

I keep the title for old times sake in addition to the fact that it serves as a reminder that even though I wish to rule my own world, a grander purpose for a greater world lies in the hands of the greatest One.

I smile at all of my faithful readers who, since 2008, have returned to read my self absorbed musings--even the once a year updates.  Thanks (insert heart emoji here..where are the emojis?!)

Being a new habitant of Davis, Ca and newly married,  I hope to keep you, oh blogosphere, updated on life here in northern California and challenge myself to write in here at least once a week.  I can't promise you that my entries will be void of the same petty, self absorbed musings, but cheers anyway.

With that being said: this blog is in need of a serious makeover. (Dear Stephen Hyun are you there?)

My reflection for today is in the midst of the extreme homesickness that manifests at least once daily:

Tim Keller

One of the principles of love- either love for a friend or romantic love- is that you have to lose independence to attain greater intimacy. If you want the “freedom" of love- the fulfillment, security, sense of worth that it brings- you must limit your freedom in many ways. You cannot enter a deep relationship and still make unilateral decisions or allow your friend or lover no say in how you live your life. To experience the joy and freedom of love, you must give up your personal autonomy… For a love relationship to be healthy there must be a mutual loss of independence. It can’t just be one way. Both sides must say to the other, “I will adjust to you. I will change for you. I’ll serve you even though it means a sacrifice for me."

"The human heart takes good things like a successful career, love, material possessions, even family, and turns them into ultimate things. Our hearts deify them as the center of our lives, because we think they can give us significance and security, safety and fulfillment if we attain them. Something is safe for us to maintain in our lives only if it has really stopped being an idol. That can happen only when we are truly willing to live without it, when we truly say from the heart: “Because I have God, I can live without you”. 

conundrum...

I'm sitting here trying to study but instead wondering why I'm studying anatomy and sciences when there was never any desire in my life to go into this field.

A lifetime of pursuing art seems to be going down the drain.
sinking slowly
this Good Friday night.

Am I being selfish by wanting to quit? By wanting to pursue my first love in creating, sharing, inspiring?

Or should I finish this program leading to a very stable yet creatively uninspring career of being a speech pathologist.

Am I not seeing the bigger picture clear enough?
Is it my attitude?

Is it the fact that I'm a generation X kid who needs to pursue my passions instead of following in my hard working parent's footsteps and placing passions aside to support family?

I feel barely any motivation to study.
Is it hobby versus career?

If I choose to pursue my passion, will the response be welcoming?

Why haven't the doors been open where I wanted them to be? Or did I just not try hard enough?

This is not what I wanted or planned. But could it be what I just have to suck up and do?

I danno either.

btw, hello again blog...

can't seem to get away.

Always Good.

you make beautiful things.

8.

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace; but wisdom is with the humble."

- Proverbs 11:2

"Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them, and not to hide yourself from your own kin?"

- Isaiah 58:6-7

rain and pastries make people irrationally romantic. exhibit a:

convo i eavesdropped on tonight.

alright. let me set it up for you.

setting: rainy night, candle lit urth caffe, buzzing with conversation, intimate from all the bodies seeking shelter from the wet.

location: right in back of me. yup, i could hear everything.

who: one boy and one girl. dating. early stages.

content: boy says, "you know, you have 3 different smiles" then he goes on to describe the 3 different smiles that this girl has

......


OH PUH-LEAzzz! unlucky for you mystery boy, i actually watched win a date with tad hamilton and know you did not come up with that yourself.



true story.

check plus for cheesy.

yeah i know. if my hombre had said that to me i would've probably giggled with awkward delight and flashed him one of my three winning smiles like this:

i wanna go into an open space. 
turn all the lights off. 
and dance everything out. 
just me and the stars.

preferably a cool robotic biker dance.

Kiko Mizuhara

 

take me with you

 

here 

 













and we can do this together.

Thomas Listen.

Listen.

There are times - when life calls out for a change- a transition. Like the seasons.

Our spring was wonderful, but summer is over now and we missed out on autumn. And now, all of a sudden, it’s cold, so cold that everything is freezing over. Our love fell asleep, and the snow - took it by surprise.

But if you fall asleep in the snow, you don’t feel death coming.

Take care

Francine

sick day.

So I had a day off from work today

which I was supremely thankful for cuz I started feeling preeeetty lousy the day before.
 headaches
  nausea
   eyeball pains

I spent the day at home loafing around, reading, stepping on leaves, bothering the dogs, and taking pictures while woozy oozily trolling about in my PJs after consuming nyquil in the day time.


We have some pretty strange things in the backyard.

Like this creepy book-reading cherub photographed with my new old  e.e. cummings biography. this biography sings, paints, dances, and acts : 

 

rabbits and Chance,

 

and the strangest one of all, Dodger

seen here taking a leak. so not a lady.

  

this one is a weirdo too

     

anyway. found the books at a used book store in la.  the second is from winnie the pooh author, a.a. milne. filled with a charming introduction, whimsical illustrations. and poems that fit right in.

there was also a surprise waiting for me inside the front cover. 

i wonder how long he was dead in here for. and why he had to die in such a cute book.

rip silver bug. i hated you when i was a kid.

I have not written(well, publicly) for a long time- seven months and a few days to be exact.
partially because i was dealing with some stuff privately
also because i was getting 20+ comments from china. in chinese. it was like i was being watched by their government.


.......anyway
I revisited past posts and man, 
was I in the funkiest of funks or what??
I wanted to clean out my proverbial (blogspot) closet. 
and I did go a little "delete button/save as draft" happy, but 

As I reflect on the past year plus some, I am so thankful 
for the present
For the people who stuck around.
For those, old and new, who continue to show me true love, friendship, and grace.
 and also for those(including me) who sharted all over and left skidmarks on the walls.
no. really,
because if it hadn't hit the fan, it would still be brewing and growing even more stank inside our intestines.
and for Jejus who wiped it all clean for us. with countless baby wipes.

ok- enough mush mashed potatoes. 
a visual round up of 2010 will come by the end of the month-ish. 
for now i'll just say:
feels good to be a gangsta back. 

Hebrews 12:10-11   

¹⁰For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. ¹¹ For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

James 3:17  
¹⁷But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.


shalalalalom.

get your paper here! err..plastic! err....reuseable shopping bags!

bye bye baggies
hello baggus.

quickie:
.California Assembly has voted to ban use of plastic bags in supermarkets
.Paper bags will be taxed at 5 cents a piece
.still needs to be passed by senate
.sweet excuse to buy cute reusable bags. duh...

been a fan on these since freshman year of college.
super cute, lots of colors, kinda pricey but will be very useful!

oh geez.

rachel pally and her male companion created a line together called girlfriend/boyfriend.
too cute...

 













































they met in pre-school and fell in love 20 years later.
anyway- super cute.

time to staple you-nizex

what?

elementary school (art) teacher?


my head is spinning.


I need to be patient but active +
seek Guidance Counseling.

and while i'm at it i guess i could teach kids this lesson:

today daddy said:
life is too short to even love as much as you want- why waste time hating
daddy's girl forevah